First off, I had an excellent relationship with my late father, Ichie Azuh Chimezie Aloysius, Ezeoma na Azia and Onowu of Eti-Osa, Lagos State. With every sense of modesty, I accomplished nearly everything expected of a first son in Igboland before the Lord called him home on Saturday, November 3, 2012. His burial, organized in unity with all my siblings, is still being talked about in my community. But I digress.
My respect for him just quadrupled – and I will expatiate with reasons. Back then, I used to be upset with him for constantly traveling to the village to resolve one dispute or the other; participate in this or that ceremony and generally for the welfare of the community. Today, I have found myself in a similar situation – even though I have not allowed them to suck me in fully. I even took a shot at the royal stool of my dear Azia ancient kingdom, but that’s a story for another day.
Back then also, especially during our primary and post-primary school days, I would sometimes come back or wake up in the middle of the night to see him all alone in the sitting room, either cupping his chin or deep in thoughts. I never bothered to ask questions, but today, I know better.
Sometimes, for most men, things don’t go according to plans. Bills mount, commitments here and there, demands left, right and centre, from both family and friends, and yet no one bothers to ask how you are going to wriggle out of the ceaseless financial demands or even how you are coping generally. Unexpected dramas, lingering issues, missed opportunities and life-time regrets are also part of the mix.
Our men, our fathers, the pillars of the home go through a lot, even though a majority of them prefer to bottle them up. Please, respect your father and all the good men in your life.
Above all, if your father is still alive, kindly adore him. In fact, abandon whatever you are doing right now, pick up your phone and give him a call or, if he’s within reach, visit him and tell him: “Daddy, I love you!” Our fathers go through a lot and surely deserve their flowers – dead or alive.
– Azuh Arinze, FNGE, is the Publisher/Editor-in-Chief of YES INTERNATIONAL! Magazine and author of important books like The CEO’s Bible 1 and 2, Anything and Everything Journalism, Success Is Not Served A La Carte, A Taste of Success, My Story of Many Colours, Tested and Trusted Success Secrets of the Rich and Famous, Conversations With Showbiz Stars, etc