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Game Of Deceit: How Lies, Fake Promises And Double Lives Are Breaking Relationships In Nigeria

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CYRIACUS IZUEKWE
Love in Nigeria today is no longer just about romance. For many young couples, it has turned into a game of deceit— where deleted chats, fake promises, and double lives are now common.
According to pmexpressng.com, relationship counselors across Lagos, Abuja, and Port Harcourt say trust issues, financial lies, and infidelity are the top 3 reasons couples are breaking up in 2026.
“He Said He Was Single”
For Amara Obi, 26, a banker in Ikeja, the heartbreak came when she discovered the man she dated for 2 years was married with 2 children in Ibadan.
“He told me he traveled for work every weekend. I later saw his wife’s Facebook post celebrating their anniversary. He used a different name with her,” Amara said.
Her experience mirrors data from NoStringsAttached.ng, a Lagos-based relationship platform. In a 2025 survey of 4,200 Nigerians, Dr. Tolu Adeyemi, the platform’s Research Lead, said 34% of respondents admitted to hiding something major from their partner — including marital status, debt, or another relationship.
The Money Game
Financial deception is another major driver.
Chinedu Okoro, 31, a businessman in Onitsha, said his girlfriend of 3 years collected over ₦2.3 million from him for a “fake importation business” and later cut off contact. “Months later, I saw her with a new man driving the car she said the business money was for,” he said.
Barr. Ngozi Eze, a family law practitioner at Eze & Co in Lagos, told pmexpressng.com that she now handles at least 5 cases monthly involving “relationship fraud” — where one partner obtains money, cars, or property under false pretenses.
Social Media And Double Lives
Blessing Okafor, a certified relationship coach and founder of The Honest Hearts Hub in Lekki, said social media has made deception easier.
“People now maintain a ‘soft life’ account for one partner and a ‘struggle’ account for another. They post different locations, use second phones. The phone has become the biggest hiding place,” she said.
She added that her center recorded a 42% increase in couples seeking counseling between January 2025 and August 2026.
Why The Deceit Is Rising
According to Prof. Adebayo Salami, a sociologist at the University of Lagos, the trend is tied to 3 factors:
1.  Pressure to impress: Social media culture pushes people to fake wealth and status.
2.  Economic hardship: Some enter relationships for financial survival, housing, or visa opportunities.
3.  Fear of commitment: Many string partners along without intention to settle.
The Aftermath And Way Forward
The result is anxiety, depression, and a growing culture of distrust. Dr. Folake Martins, a clinical psychologist at LUTH, said she sees 8-10 new cases weekly of “relationship trauma”.
Experts advise early honesty, financial transparency, and verifying major claims before marriage or big money commitments.
“Love is not a game. But if you must play, play with open cards,” Okafor advised.
For many like Amara and Chinedu, the lesson came late. But pmexpressng.com reports that sharing these stories may help others avoid the same game of deceit.
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