It’s Always About Relationships

SIMBO OLORUNFEMI 

In the days ahead, more appointments will be announced by the new administration. Some will be happy. Some won’t be. There will be grumbling. There will be gnashing of teeth. That often comes more from the quarters of those who think/assume that political appointments are made or ought to be made on the basis of social media strength.

They think the higher the decibel of their noise here, the higher they should go on the reward ladder. They assume that there is a value for nuisance and incivility and when that doesn’t come as expected or in the form they assume, they get agitated.

They come against some of those appointed into offices who, in their estimation, are not qualified for such. They launch protests against appointments of people they believe have not contributed as much as them, usually basing that on the footprints on social media. They become Archaeologists, digging up some people’s yesterday as argument against their tomorrow. They wonder where some names have come from.

Again, let me remind you, as legitimate as your expectations are, disappointment is bound to come. First, not everyone will get what they deserve. Secondly, these appointments hardly ever follow a straightforward set of criteria.

More importantly, that you do not know what someone is doing or has done does not mean those who matter more do not know. You do not know people’s history and level of interpersonal relationships to be able to know how they get to where you see them.

As I have always argued here, at the end of the day, it almost always comes down to relationships, to the quality of your network, the quality of mind of your friends/mentors/colleagues/Bosses/subordinates/school mates.

No matter how competent or qualified you are, it usually takes someone shining light on you, in the midst of possibly equally competent others, for you to be seen. Someone will have to carry you on his back or put you on her shoulder for you to be seen or considered. It is almost always about relationships.

I have heard people here say school is a scam. Whoever tells you that is out to scam you. It is a dangerous tablet to swallow. I will argue that beyond everything else that you gain from school, the relationships you forge can be even more important, as you move up the ladder of life.

I have friends here, with whom I have been friends since the primary school days. At different points in life, we have had cause to leverage on that relationship. A lot of the people I know in the political space today are either classmates, schoolmates, former colleagues or professional associates who I have formed relationships with over the course of my life and career.

For those of us who grew up before the advent of the social media, all we had to build our network was school, workplace, religious centres, clubs, etc. As powerful as these tools were/are, none is as powerful in granting one access to quality worldwide network like the social media. None offers one an interactive and instantenous platform to showcase what one has on offer like this. Social media offers a free pedestal one can step onto sell oneself to the world. Facebook itself is an idea borne out of creating a network for schoolmates.

But then, which face are you putting forward on social media platforms? What do people know you for? Who do people see you as? People form impressions, even if not wholly accurate, on the basis of what they see. Relationships are formed on the basis of perceived mutual interests. Some of the ‘beneficiaries’ will make it to the list on the strength of their relationships with people they met on the social media platforms.

Some will be tapped on the strength of their quality of minds or thought, as expressed here and there. However, there is no assurance to any particular formula.

The little I know is that relationships matter and that it is usually more rewarding to be civil and courteous. Invest in yourself. Invest in quality relationships, starting with being the person you will like the other person to be.