Christianity And The Extravagant Funeral Rites

BAMIDELE JOHNSON 

After seeing the activities schedule for the funeral of Senator Ifeanyi Ubah, I have been left wondering-actually for the umpteenth time-how and why Christianity constructed its extravagant funeral rites. Service of songs, commendation service, wake-keep (wake keeping among my people), funeral service, graveside service (often brief) and outing service.

I don’t know if the Bible prescribes all of the services. I actually doubt, very strongly, that it does. If it does not, the multiplicity of services is a wasteful expense of time to me. More worryingly, the culture also predisposes the clergy to titanic self-importance for carrying out functions the Bible does not award to them.

Earlier this year, I experienced how they could develop the big head and demand preacher privilege because of funerals. Immediately I caught a whiff of that pomposity, I announced that the funeral activities, much fewer than Ubah’s, could be handled by a freelance preacher. I don’t think that role is such a specialised one. I’m yet to hear a preacher claim that his ministry is funeral-focused or he has anointing for interment. I also had to say that running christening and wedding ceremonies aren’t part of their portfolio, as per the Bible.

The rest of the conversation was not cordial, but it didn’t matter. What do they say to people at these services that are radically different? Why can they not be condensed if they must be held? Perhaps people find them as thrilling as lascivious lecherous men find Ayra Star and Tems’ performance videos?

They bore the pants off me. The repetition of the same or similar message(s), particularly threats of eternal damnatiom by those implacably convinced they’re snow-white and preening themselves on their piety. Some of these are shouted into the mic and they could be followed by all sorts of extortionate demands from the “children of the corpse”. The preening, by my assessment, is more pronounced in the new generation churches, which are more given to histrionics. Check. Palms pressed earnestly together. Check. Eyes searching up to heaven with ostentatious humility.

Our funerals have too many frills that the church, I believe, should be telling us to cut down. Too much fat that needs to shed, especially with the X-rated party side of things and plainly unhinged demands from people who have lost their loved ones.