“We Have Everything But Time”: Inside The Lonely Lives Of Banana Island Kids

But inside some of those glass-walled homes, a different conversation is happening — about children who have swimming pools, private jets on Instagram, and iPads… but say they feel alone.

pmexpressng.com spoke with three parents, three domestic staff, and two child psychologists in Lekki over the last one month. What emerged was a pattern experts are calling “affluent isolation”.

A CHILDHOOD INSIDE THE CAR

For many kids here, the world is measured in three locations: House. School. Car.

Toyin, 12, has lived in Banana Island all her life. She has never entered a danfo. She has never walked to buy Gala.

“Banana Island is not for walking,” her mother, who asked not to be named, said. “Security reasons. So driver takes her everywhere.”

Across the estate, Dani, 10, comes home to a 6-bedroom house. By 7pm, dinner is served on a long table. He is usually the only one sitting there.

“My parents are both in business,” he said. “Mom travels. Dad comes home late. So it’s me, the nanny, and my iPad.”

4.HIDDEN CHALLENGES PSYCHOLOGISTS ARE SEEING

Dr. Folake Martins, a child psychologist with 15 years practice in Victoria Island, says she is seeing more cases from high-income homes in the last 3 years.

“Money removes many problems. It does not remove the need for presence, she told PMExpressNG.com

According to her and two other counselors, these are the top issues:

1. Social Confinement

Due to security fears of kidnapping, children are rarely allowed unsupervised play. Birthdays are in event centers. Playdates are scheduled. The result is a very small social world.

2. Parental Absence

Long work hours, business trips, and “hustle culture” mean domestic staff often handle emotional care. “We pay for everything, but we are not there for bedtime stories,” one CEO father admitted.

3. The Pressure To Perform

With classmates jetting out for summer programs and writing SATs at 14, the bar is high. A 2025 NOI Polls report found that 62% of high-income Lagos parents spend less than 1 hour of quality time with children on weekdays. “88% is not celebrated. They ask ‘who got 95?’,” Dani said.

4. The Identity Gap

Online, these children are called “privileged” and told they “can’t complain.” At home, they are told “don’t talk about your problems, others have it worse.” Many go quiet.

“She asked me why the boy at our gate looks hungry,” said Aunty Bose, a nanny in the estate. “I didn’t know what to tell her.”

“GLASS WALLS, FULL HOUSE, EMPTY TABLE”

The phrase came from one mother during our interview.

“We built the safest place in Lagos,” she said. “Glass to keep danger out. But sometimes I think the glass is also keeping us apart.”

The irony is not lost on parents. They moved to Banana Island for safety, good schools, and infrastructure. They got it. But they also got distance.

PARENTS ARE PUSHING BACK

It’s not all gloom. A small group of parents have started “Tech-Free Sundays.” For 1 hour, phones are down. Nannies stay back. Parents and kids meet at the beach gate to play.

“Last month my daughter said, ‘Daddy, can you just sit with me for 10 minutes? No laptop,'” said Mr. A, who runs 3 companies. “That was the hardest and best meeting of my week.”

THE BIGGER PICTURE

No one is saying Banana Island is bad. It offers safety, world-class schools, and opportunity that millions of Nigerian children do not have.

The point of this story is not to shame wealth. It is to ask a question Lagos’ growing middle and upper class are now facing:

What is the cost of success if your child only sees you on FaceTime?

As Dr. Martins puts it: “You can buy security, schools, and healthcare. You cannot buy back missed dinners. Presence is the one thing money cannot replace.”

For Toyin, the week ended differently. There was no light in Lekki on Sunday. WiFi was down. Bored, she knocked on her neighbor’s gate. For 1 hour, no iPad. Just sand, football, and laughter. “That was the best day this month,” she said.

Names of minors have been changed to protect their identity.