‘Anyhowness’ Mistaken For Self Esteem!

Many practices that my parents held sacred are beginning to make sense to me in ways I consider germane to new age families.

My Dad had the exclusivity of some everyday household items. For instance, his own seat in the “parlour”, tea cup, dish wares (this went from silverwares, the popular 666, to ceramics plates), towel, hand washing bowl and even his cup of beer and shot of whisky.

Note, we were compelled to treat these items with great reverence so much so that any attempt to fail the rule was met with stiff punishments. No matter how filled the chairs in the parlour get, no one dares sit on Daddy’s chair even if he was not around, many visitors who came around felt the preponderance of our will to protect these Daddy stuffs.

Dad is at liberty to use any plate of his choice or sit where he chooses. But, reserves the exclusive right to decide who uses the ones meant for him per time. At that very early stage, we all learnt the act of honouring our Father. Dad’s and Mom’s bedroom was the “holy of holies”. When you are summoned there, you either come out happy or extremely sad. It was not a place to chitchat or see as regular for any reason. 

These things may appear ordinary until you encounter discourteous kids whose parents mistook “anyhowness” for “self esteem”. They are the ones you find in public spaces yelling at older folks without scruples, and when you ask them why, they will tell you “I fear no fvck!ng person”.

TBC…

– Mazi Ejimofor Opara writes from Awka, Anambra State.