Chimamanda’s Epistle Of Garbage

FEMI FANI-KAYODE

Chimamanda Adichie’s “hollow democracy” diatribe is a shitty little submission, in a shitty little letter, written by a shitty little diva.

It was hardly worth my time to read and ordinarily I would not have bothered.

Like all fecal waste it belongs in one place and one place alone: the bottom of a public toilet.

We do not need any lessons from this over-rated and Igbocentric new age diva.

Neither do we need to respond to her self-serving, self-seeking, jaundiced, subjective, partial, primitive, tribal observations and implausible ethno-religious sentiments.

If anyone needs to know that lawlessness has consequences it is her candidate Peter and not the Nigerian people.

And if anything is hollow it is her well-manicured diva head and not our democracy.

She is not in this league and she would do well to stick to writing fairy tales.

Running to foreign leaders to report your compatriots does not sit well with me no matter what your Uncle Tom credentials may be.

If you do not have respect for your own people and nation and if you have to go cap in hand to foreigners for validation then you are not worthy of being called a human being let alone a Nigerian.

Africa has come of age. We do not need to get a congratulatory note from any Western nation before we sleep well at night.

This is not some Hollywood film script or fantasy fairy tale.

This is about the destiny, future, welfare and fortune of 250 million Nigerian people who deserve to have their place under the sun as a free, progressive and independent nation and not to be treated like some vassal state or an appendage of others.

What this unpatriotic, hate-filled and overrated little diva has written is nothing but a long-winded, empty, tendentious and boring epistle of dishonest garbage.

It is a litany of unwholesome mendacities designed to undermine our democracy, impress her global audience and incite her local ‘Obidient’ tribesmen against the Nigerian people and state.

It is a refection of her low-self esteem and inability to grasp the fact that no nation or people on earth are perfect in all their ways and that the America she is reporting us to is also in many ways questionable and flawed and faced with many challenges.

The little diva is not worthy of much of our attention. She deserves nothing from us except ridicule, scorn and contempt.

She should give us a break, spare the world her unsolicited counsel, desist from denigrating her nation from a foreign land, stop reporting Nigeria to her slave masters and, as President Yoweri Museveni of Uganda would say, “go and eat her mother’s something” .

(FFK)