Food For The gods (Excerpts)

Posted on September 3, 2023
FUNKE EGBEMODE 
 
 
There are different types of meat but not all meat are meant for all. Some are meant for the elders and are so not for ‘children’. Some are food for the gods and are therefore not for ordinary humans. Am I speaking in tongues? Let me explain.
Not all fine girls are available for all men. Not all dark, handsome and rich men are for every Tinu, Toke and Titi. Some girls are food for the gods. Some men are food for the gods. Those are the ones the Yoruba call ‘ounje agba’. If a young man decides in his exuberant, nothing-go-do-me wisdom to eat food cooked, reserved and already served for the elders, he may lose his teeth or may not live to tell the story of the taste of the dish. We girls say it more frequently than men especially when we want to scare off a poor or unserious suitor or toaster. We tell him what he’s salivating after is beyond his budding palate, that he is still ‘too young’ to dine at the table of elders.
‘This is food for your elders. Wait until you are fully grown.’
Women, we can be mean, seriously. May the Lord forgive us for all the times we have shot men in the knee on the field of ‘toasting’. Amen? Amen.
However, food for the elders, ‘ounje agba’ is very different from food for the gods. Food for the elders can lead you to the dispensary but food for the gods will drag you to the mortuary. Note the word ‘drag’. Painful journey to Golgotha, that is what any ‘thief’ of sacred food can look forward to.

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