The True Story of My Divorce —Iretiola Doyle
Nollywood top actress, Ireti Doyle has revealed the true story around her divorce, dealing with domestic violence in her first relationship, and dealing with her daughter’s customer scandal.
Ireti sits with Chude Jideonwo on the TV show, #WithChude to address speculations about the divorce saga.
Talking for the first time about her relationship with ex-husband and veteran broadcaster cum actor, Patrick Doyle, Ireti said: “We’re officially divorced. Actually, that’s nobody’s business; that I am an actor and I apply my trade in the public arena, does not make you entitled to my personal life. I don’t owe anybody any explanation, so go ahead and speculate all you want if it helps you digest your morning tea; I’m happy to oblige.
“In spite of everything that has happened, I still have respect for the person. I might not like them very much but I still have respect for the person. The years that we spent and the child that was born – there are children involved, who are young adults in their own rights who have also had their illusions shattered. I will not go a step further in shattering them some more by being careless with my words because a partner upset me or did not meet my expectations, or I feel I was taken advantage.
“I’m sorry if I contributed to shattering your image of love and a perfect couple, but my life is not an animation; I cannot sacrifice my life at the alter of your imagination or your fantasy. So, if I hurt anybody, I’m sorry but I had to choose me.”
Speaking about the customer scandal her daughter had, and why she had to issue a press release to dissociate from the matter, Ireti explained; “In her defense, the few times I decided to reach out to her and say, ‘a random person reached out to me and this is what they said, would you like to deal with this’ ‘what’s going on?’. She will give me a detailed explanation with proof and tell me how it is being sorted. It got to a point where I was now like, ‘hello I’m not customer care, I don’t work for this company.’ You know another statement that has been weaponized is ‘as a mother’. Because of ‘as a mother’, so you too you’re stepping into situations that are really none of your business. It got to a point I didn’t like how the situation was being handled even on her part because the customer is always right.
“But I didn’t see any decisive action on (my daughter’s) side to take the heat off me and there was a time she actually told me point blank to mind my business. It’s her business, she will handle it and I should go and clear my name anyhow I see fit. That’s what my kid said to me,” she added.
About her experience with domestic violence, the top actress shared, “Experiences need to be dealt with, is not just for what happens in the moment or within the experience, but the residue, the thoughts and feelings that the experience leave you with.
“You begin to believe things about yourself that are not true and that have no basis in reality, and if you’re not careful, you now begin to make decisions from that low vibration of self and it becomes a problem. Which is why you must always self-interrogate; why do I believe this about myself, why do I think this, why do I think I’m not good enough, why do I think this is what I deserve. Unless you continue to interrogate those things, you’re going to be making life choices from a very insecure place and it’s a recipe for disaster. So, beyond that situation, which I no longer talk about because it’s been 35 years, I’m a totally different woman now. But I would say that for a long time I let the effects of that relationship form the basis or the foundation of the things I believed about myself and that in turn colored my decision-making ability for a very long time.”
Watch the excerpts from the interview here:
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