Nigeria Ain’t Just Hausa, Yoruba And Igbo 

“So fun omo Yibo yen ko wa san owo wa ti o ba fe ki a da ise e duro (tell that Igbo boy to come pay what he’s owing us or we’ll stop masons from working on his house).”

What my friend owed, I think, was part of an agreed sum to be given to omo oniles by land buyers any time the land, for whom their fathers had been paid, is sold. An unjust extortionate system that carried a faint whiff of  terrorism. But that’s not what this is about.

I asked who he was talking about and he pointed to my friend’s plot. I told him he’s not Igbo, but Ijaw. He said he was Igbo. I said he was Ijaw. He replied in Egba: “Lesi nje baa?”

His question meant “who are those ones?” I was trying to explain to him, but he had no appetite for long talk. “Is he Yoruba?” I shook my head. “Is he Hausa?” I shook my head. “Then he is Yibo (Igbo). Just tell him to come and pay before we stop his bricklayers from working.”

I nodded. He went away. Baba was illiterate and I doubt if he had been anywhere else apart from Abeokuta and the place  where we bought land. I can understand his inability to know that Yoruba, Hausa and Igbo are not the only nationalities in the country. The difficulty for me is seeing and hearing people, who have been to school, carry on like Baba omo onile.

A few months ago, a good Facebook friend, whose first name and surname reflect his Islamic faith, said he had a hard time telling people in a South-South state that he was not Hausa. He’s Igala from Kogi State. He was frequently asked, he said, how he comes across as bright despite being Hausa. It must have been really frustrating. The  Ogu (Egun), who bear Yoruba names, I believe must have been paying for some perceived sins of the Yoruba despite being of a different stock. Ditto the Apoi in Ondo State.

Two or three years ago, President Buhari announced an appointment (can’t remember into what position, but not a major one) of a man with two Muslim names like my friend. Another friend here shared the link of the story of the appointment and added a comment, saying stuff like “Hausa-Fulani again!” I was the first to comment and I asked if he knew the appointee before the announcement.

It was no surprise he did not know and most possibly knows very little about the country, which is not half as bad as not buttoning up your lips when you don’t know. I asked how he knew he was Hausa-Fulani and he asked: “Is he not a Northerner?” How do people, including those with tertiary education like this particular friend, think Northerner and Hausa-Fulani are the same? I see this among Yoruba people a lot. Edo and Delta people, by default, are Igbo. It’s worse if those people are fair-skinned. The Esan, Bini, Urhobo, Isoko and even Itsekiri, a kindred nationality, are Igbo to some of my people.

Back to my friend. I gave him a list of northern nationalities i could remember and explained that they have distinct languages as well as culture. In many cases, Hausa don’t speak their languages, but the other nationalities speak Hausa. There’s no way that makes them Hausa. He kept on insisting the appointee was Hausa-Fulani.

I went on to explain that I once met a Fulani herder who spoke no Hausa and met many Kanuri people, who spoke no Hausa, when i served in Borno State.  How does that make them Hausa-Fulani? My friend persisted.

I had to leave him. Much later, a richer news report showed that the appointee was a Nupe man from Agaie in Niger State. I shared it with my friend, who still persisted. I gave up.

Before I forget, Yoruba people call the Nupe “Tapa”. Last week, I asked the assistant barber, a Nupe, in the barbershop around me what Tapa means. He had no clue. I wasn’t surprised.

Yoruba people just make shit up and pass it on from generation to generation. My first time in the North, I asked a guy in Maiduguri what Gambari meant. He had no clue. I told him it was the Yoruba synonym for Hausa. The guy looked at me with pity. “You’re talking tosh,” his eyes seemed to say. He didn’t know no Northern nationality called Gambari. I also asked him about Sabarumo, another Yoruba synonym for Hausa. He told me that what they have around Sokoto and Kebbi states are the Zabarma, a distinct nationality.

Omo Kobokobo is what I also hear Yoruba people call those from Edo State down to anywhere in the South-southeast or South-South. Don’t know the origin. I guess other nationalities have stuff like this.

Back to the matter. We need to give our heads a good wobble. Nigeria isn’t just Hausa, Yoruba and Igbo.