How Outdated Tradition of a Nigerian Community Forced Mother of 2 To Flee Nigeria

Mrs. Gbemisola Oluwabusola Aofolajuwonlo, a mother of two, in an interview with P.M. EXPRESS narrates how archaic tradition of selecting heir to the throne, nearly take the life of her first son, but luckily escaped by whisker. excerpts 

Madam kindly tells us your name and family background.

My name is Gbemisola Oluwabusola Aofolajuwonlo. I am 35 Years old, and I am from Osun State in Nigeria. I got married to my husband, Adeniyi who is from a royal family in a town called ILASE in Osun State on, December 6, 2008, and our marriage has blessed with two children, a boy, Oluwaferanmi Alexander Aofolajuwonlo, and a girl, Oluwasemilore Ruth Aofolajuwonlo, who were born on July 25, 2009, and May 16, 2012, now 8 and five years respectively.

You told us that your husband is from a royal house, can you shield more light on this? 

As I said earlier that my husband is from a royal family, his grandfather was a king that ruled in Ilase Community, in Osun State for over five decades. He was 46 years old when he became the king of the community and he ruled for 52 years and later died at the age of 98 years old.

What can you say about Ilase Community?

Ilase is an ancient village with diverse traditions and beliefs. The installation of their King and Queen when necessary is a whole traditional ceremony which goes on for a period of 30 days while the burial ceremony of their King/Queen goes on for a period of 45 days because of the human rituals rites to be performed that the tradition demands beyond other traditional engagements done by the chief priest of the village. After the king’s demise, the tradition demands that the late King’s first grandson of his first son, who happens to be my own father-in-law, in our own case, (also now of blessed memory) would be used for the spiritual cleansing and the traditional rituals to keep the crown within my family for the next male child in waiting within the family to be installed as the next King.

Aside from the rituals and other traditional rites that will be done to lay the King to rest. Unfortunately, none of the King’s children had a son in their marriage even my father-in-law as at when the King died before my husband was born on February 4, 1980, as the last child of the family. So, the throne was passed onto the next family in waiting and a new King was installed.

Now on Sunday, February 19, 2017, we got the news passively from one of my husband’s family member at a family function that the King of Ilase was very sick and just few months ago, on Thursday, May 25, 2017 precisely, 2 days before my birthday which is on Saturday of May 27, 2017 the king joined his ancestors, but my husband myself were unaware of it until the day of my birthday while we were hosting few family members and friends at our house who came around to celebrate with me, then one of my husband’s brother broke the news to my husband while having a chat with him in the cause of the celebration.

Now another opportunity for the crown to return to my family showed up unfortunately my son is the first grandson at a young age of 8 years. And one other of my husband’s older brother who has always been so desirous of the throne, who is blessed with three children of a daughter as his first and two sons but are just five and two years are not liable. But he showed much interest to be crowned as the next king of the community, at the risk of my son’s life because my husband’s family will be consulted first to know if they are interested in the throne before the contest is thrown open to other intending interested family. But the risk doesn’t stop with my son because the tradition says the younger sibling (daughter) of the first grandson will perform some rites to get the son ready for a successful ritual but if the family doesn’t have a daughter, the mother of the grandson will be the one to fill in that gap which will be me. This said ritual according to the analysis of the community Chief priest, is to be carried out in a very horrific manner with so many pains and agony that will traumatize my little son.

What are the conditions listed by the Chief Priest?

The Chief Priest made known the process of the traditional rite as follows: “that my little son will be lie naked but only wrapped in a red robe in a room where the corpse of the past dead king is for three days. That after the third day, my son will do some recitations and a concoction made with the dove will be prepared in a calabash for my son to eat.”

The Chief Priest also told us that my daughter (A virgin as requested by the gods) will be brought into the room also naked but wrapped in a red robe with razor blades and some other materials that will be used to circumcise her in that same room, then the same razor blade will be used to do some incisions in the middle of my son’s head after his hair would have been scraped off to his scalp. And that my son and daughter will kneel before the chief priest for him to recite some incantations on them and prepare my son for what is called the cleansing which is done on a mountain called ‘Mountain IMO’ in the local Yoruba Language, which means ‘Mountain of the Wise’ ones in English Language.

The Chief Priest further told us that my daughter will be returned home, while my son will be taken to the mountain by the chief priest where he will spend the night for another round of ritual rite. On this note, he advised that parents who their son is used for this ritual rite should not either expect their son back due to death or should in any case their son will be back, he will be back to them abnormally which in either term means the ritual is successful.

Finally, the Chief Priest said after this whole process has been completed, my son (dead or abnormally alive) will be brought back to us for either to bury him if dead or to forever nurse the pain of his abnormality at a native traditional doctor’s shrine where the chief priest will tell us about.

After all that the Chief Priest said, what happened?

With all of these, my brother in-law was still so desperate to sit on the throne, hence was already making consultations and preparations for the ceremony. But myself and my husband became so devastated, depressed and confused and didn’t know what to do at that time and we were always being harassed by extended family members of my husband that had always believed and lived by this tradition and who supported my brother except for my aged mother in-law and one of my husband’s older sister who were of a good Christian faith and who never believed or supported this sick and barbaric tradition.

What happened next?

At a time when this whole madness was going on, On Monday, June 12, 2017, after dropping my children in school in the morning at about 8:30am, I decided to stop at the grocery to pick up few items needed in the house after a long weekend, my husband was also out to work and as I was leaving the grocery shop at about 9:15a.m, on my way back home some hoodlums attacked me outside the grocery shop and from all indications, I have a conviction they were from my brother in-law, who’s interested in being a king, because I have heard him say to family members that I am disrespecting the tradition of the house I married into and that I ought to dealt with.

So, I phoned my husband immediately to inform him and what just happened to me because I already had a swollen face and he instructed that I report the case of ‘Threat to Life’ to the police immediately and that he would meet me at the police station, then I made my way there. But when I got to the police, they registered the case but told me I didn’t have evidence of where the hoodlums came from and why they attacked me but at my conviction, they will register it and invite my brother-in-law to the station for questioning.

My brother-in-law was invited to the station that same day and he met my husband and I at the station when he got there but he denied all allegations laid against him and ask that I show evidence the attack came from him. I didn’t have any. So, the police asked us to go but told him not to make any move of attack if in any case he’s willing to and that this is a family issue and not a police issue.

On Saturday 17th of June at about 9am in the morning, I and my husband and the kids were home when we heard a knock on our front door and when my husband reached for the door, it was my brother in-law and some family members at the door. I and the kids were in the kid’s room and all of a sudden I started hearing multiple voices of argument and as I listened carefully, I could hear my husband shouting at the top of his voice and yelling on his older brother saying he should spare his family and take him if all he wants is the throne and that over his dead body would he allow his children to be used for any traditional rite all for his selfish interest and I could hear his brother also replied him saying he will do all within his power and might to get my children for the rites because it’s the tradition and no one has the audacity to disrespect the tradition of the family especially when the time is right and the people to do the rites are available.

After so much heated argument back and forth, his older brother started calling my name that I am in this family by marriage and that if I don’t bow to the tradition of the family I married, the consequences will not be palatable for me, then he opens the door and he left with the family members banging the door after them.

Immediately they left at about 11:30am, my husband started breathing faster than normal due to the shouting so I had to quickly seat him down get him some water to drink and keep on there for him to get better but he kept on breathing too fast so I decided that we should see our doctor, then we rushed to the hospital. My husband was admitted in the hospital that day and was discharged the following morning on Sunday, June 18, at 10am when he was fully stable.

After your husband was discharged from hospital, what further steps did you take?

Immediately we got home that morning at about 10:45am, my husband called me that he wanted to speak with me and when I sat down, he told me he’s not sure of my safety and that of the kids because of the desperation of his brothers and that of some his family members, who have sold their lives to the barbaric tradition and he thinks we should elope as fast as possible to start a new and peaceful life and not come back to Nigeria for as many years as possible.

After much deliberation on where to elope to, we decided on that morning to start making plans to make our way to Canada where I and the children are sure of safety, then he would wait and face all the troubles with his family since he’s not the one needed for the rituals, but that in the cause of having to confront his brother and the family members behind him, if they kill him, so be it and if not, he will join us as soon as possible in Canada.

At this point, I was very sad and shattered in my heart, especially, for leaving my husband behind in the midst of all this madness and evil happenings, but my husband encouraged me and told me to stop crying and this is the only wise and available option we have now for my safety and that of our kids, so we need to act fast. Then I summoned the courage, and we began all the plans that brought us here in Canada.